just to what it is.

---12:23am---no one knows how much i wouldn't like to share this, but i'll keep everything as shallow as it can be..


this would be the time where i guess i have to really link this up to somebody...


this is a little special entry.. for someone i've really really loved for a short moment,....


for me it's short but i don't know really if how much 8 months would be for all of you.


it's short for me 'cause i really don't want to end it though i'm the one who asked for it...


a sacrifice that i chose just to make her happy, the biggest and the hardest sacrifice that i've ever done in my entire life.


to let her go.






~ i can't quite much understand what i really want to tell to this blog entry but, it would be randomly just focused on one subject...


my ex-girlfriend.. we just broke up and guess what... i'm not crying... doesn't necessarily mean that when a person doesn't cry in a situation that is hard, he/she is happy.. as of what my friend Jheo said to us, "silence speaks louder than words" and for me.. "silence flows faster than tears" harder though it's clear.. that a goal in me is such a big sacrifice just for her to be happy, while i'm somehow in the agony of her come back, things will never be the same again.


do you believe in second chances?.... i don't. but to think i'm still in the midst of waiting for her homecoming, i kind of being stupid right? i don't believe in second chances but i still wait for the second chance? i aint crazy.


but enough, let's say i am... just for her. i admit, can't imagine much how i could live a life to the fullest without her, in my opinion right now.. maybe just for right now. i really cant... i just have to live life just to what it can offer.. just to what it is.


i can't say much more for i can't focus on this much right now...


just imagine me doing this.. with dried lips and acidic tummy, have you imagined my tearbox doesn't give up to hold much of my body liquid... that it came to the point that my lips were dried as my tummy be acidic, my fluid is not coming out, but it's not maintaining, it's just containing. i have cried a lot inside and the tears aint going out....


Forgive me God, i had this paramount of thought, which i did just figure out last late night, that i can't bring myself towards what you really plan, what i mean is...i can't catch up much on your blueprint of my life, that for now i don't know how i'm going to be for the next few days or months or years... you know why? i still love her.


i'd be much thankful though, God, i know it's not enough, the time alloted was something out of what i thought my lovelife was. and so i wish for you just to sketch up another rendering of my life, that my heart will be closed beating on myself, i have to give myself my own love.


i wonder now... if my dog knows how i'm doin'... he's here and staring at me.. while i thought a while ago when he just entered my room that he needed to leave my room, but i didn't kick him out for someone taught me how to give sympathy for a dog who wants to see his man around him. how wonderful that i got this attitude from her...


there is no one else in this world that i loved so much like her....and there would be no other from now on.


my life would be a ported box of heart. where love goes for just a side where she's at, 'til the end...












'til the end of this blog. and my sufferings for my huge loss.


i love you so much Charmaine. i wouldn't say this for your happy ending, i would just have to say it for you to always know... just come back to this site and you always just have to believe i still do... as always.








stop crying.---1:11am---

have been so excited.

---9:54pm---wooah,, so hot, but not as hot as before... have watched fast and furious Tokyo drift for the 8th time, and iron man 2 for the 9th time today. I was so bored these days of summer, that i tend to watch movies all over again. but i noticed i enjoy much of the new sound system that i discovered inside a box at the stock room, it's never been used since the box was delivered here, it sounds great, makes me wanna plug it in my laptop all the time and have a sound trip.


~speaking of sound system, i'm about to replace my subwoofer, with something new and somehow the later version of the same kind, my subwoofer is just the first out sony x-plod 800watts peak 250 watts RMS, built in amp, with box of course. It sounds good, but i'm not satisfied yet, i can't feel the beat comin' out of the windows if you know what i mean, good inside but average outside, depending on the angle and location of the one who's listening, i wanna create a sound that'd shake eardrums at every angle. I wanna follow Steve Meade's footsteps on how he got his wheels Hi-Fi with 4 18's 20,000watts of loads, you know. it's bangin' around the block, around the city/town, around the youtube community. I'm so excited to have a replacement to my subs,excited to have a non-pro license and more excited about having our car turned over to me! YYEEAAHHH this is the life!


~now speaking of being excited, we, my friends,  have been so excited this night for we thought we could catch up on the last full show of fast 5, my friend told us that the last full show is going to be at 10 tonight, but too bad he viewed the wrong mall sched, the mall near us has 9 as the last full show of that movie, and yea we're kinda expecting that we're gonna be there tonight but we're too late to come 'cause it was about quarter to 9 that moment, though we were not too disappointed.---10:14pm---

Fully Booked.

---10:12pm--- i'm fully booked! so much activities these past days, first i went to Casanjo Garden Resorts with my friends, and we slept over my friend Nonats' crib, so stretched out for before i went to casanjo, i also went to SM megamall with my mom and dad because mom will buy a laptop, we all took late night for the dealing was not so fast, though i had my stomach satisfied after all because my favorite pizza was the dinner, after i had the dinner at home, fixed my things and my dad gave me a ride to casanjo, the resort was so deep in a village, my dad almost forgot the way out, we all enjoyed the resort, we almost got one pool just for us friends 'cause people don't want to mix with us for they know we're enjoying much that they can't be around somehow, if you know what i mean.


~i only got less than 3 hours of sleep because of them, i somehow regret coming too, but i enjoyed the party anyway, i'm only considering my class that day that's why i'm also somehow regret my decision to join them, too bad the reason why i can't sleep is because i feel the time, it was like few hours behind, you know. i was so active these days that i tend to forget my rest, after my class, i went home just to get another set of clothes for another sleepover with my other friends, my team.


~and i wont make this situation pass, that we saw a UFO! no kiddin' it was like a V shape something flying above, i was the first one to see that and my friends thought i'm just cracking a joke but i'm not, they saw it too except one, Jheo. We were all shocked and scared like "what the hell was that??" though we came to a conclusion, or should i say a wild guess that the thing we saw were just flock of birds, although we also doubt it for it's color orange, we could all say that the orange effect came from the night lights, but think of it that the lights are focused down the road and not on the sky, it can reflect but not that much. One of us said that it's a "manananggal" a flying, fiction being that is a half human, half monster. We were scared that we forgot the rotation of the shotglass, BUT i assert that we were not drunk, i swear we saw that thing.


~well you know i lack sleep so i need to go now, and i'm sick yea. thanks. ---10:36pm---

i've been talking a lot today.

---11:09pm--- i went to the mall today for i have to teach my friend some math, but i went there a little earlier, or should i say, not earlier than the planned time, but earlier, indeed earlier than my friend. So for that i stroll and look for car accessories and sound system stuff, i got a demo for the pioneer subwoofer, which i didn't somehow enjoy, it's not that spectacular at all because it sounds merely like our recent subwoofer. I thought it would sound  much better compared with our x-plod unit but there's barely a difference, maybe the huge difference would be about the box and the style, the x-plod looks old but same sound as the pioneer with the style like it seems to have the sound which will make your head turning to me, too bad it wasn't. i didn't enjoy the demo that much, i maybe had expected a lot from it.


~ well even if i didn't enjoy, at least and at last, my friend came after 10 years, she got a nice ride, yea, with a fancy cool driver, i didn't knew that time how i would start the session, it took me much time looking for a possible topic in the book that she borrowed, after all i got myself handling it without the help of that book, i seem so pathetic that time i can't find a way to make her realize things i say, but i believe one day she would. her driver came so we left, the session was over. got a ride near the place i'm going to, then i walked instead of riding a jeepney going there.


~ so if you'd ask, i went to my friend's house, my other friends were there earlier while i'm teaching, i went there without them knowing, so they were surprised. we had a drinking (soft drinks only) session, not liquor, before the playoffs for PS2 was held, yea he had a playoffs and i was the champion, best of 3. We then took dinner there even if we don't want to because we're quite shy already for we always go there, like we were thinking "are we in?" if you know what i mean. So many stories and sharings, laugh trip, everything that passes our mind, we did it. YES.WE.DID. *laughs* after we then told our friend's mom that we have to go, but in reality we hang out outside their house and the stories continued, a lot like a basketball talk, and studies as well, we ironed up the plan for the overnight on saturday at the same house. It's kinda late then that i have to go ahead, but my other friends also got themselves packed and so we all got ourselves home.


~tomorrow, they will all come here in my house and we'll play x-box and hangout again for sure, we've enjoyed and we've the sickness of hanging out and just sharing stories together than having our money spent. Ideal right? so i have to fix my room for tomorrow, so i have to go, and actually my girlfriend is on the line while i'm doing this. Multi-tasking uh? *laughs* bye!---11:44pm---

injured

---11:37am--- i got the results for the quizzes we took last time, and got the midterm exam finished ahead of the others, guess what i got a perfect score! *smiles so big* now what i'm waiting for is the results for the midterm exams and the raw score for the first half of the summer classes, hoping i'd get 100 as a raw score.

~yea as a reward, I went to the house of my friends Adriel and Carlo at santolan to hang out with them, we played basketball, dunk contest yea, and we had a playoffs. unfortunately i got injured so i didn't get to the winning score, but still no one got the champion spot, just about time where Carlo's mother got home and park their car at the court, we then entered Adriel's house and we took rest for a while before going to the "tawiran" it's a place at santolan where there's a "tapsihan" where we took our dinner, got budget from Carlo's mother, thanks for her. Got many stopovers before we really went home, everytime we chat, we're going to spend about 30 minutes per session of talk, we always talk in circles while standing, something we could do to make the time pass without much knowing.---11:58am---

---11:58am--- sorry, got myself away from the keyboard, so after all we got home and my laptop still is on that time, i got home about 10pm and i saw the messages from my girlfriend, so many messsages left for me, she doesn't know that i'm away, so i told her today, actually i'm chatting with her now. *smiles* so there, my wrist now is fine, it feels as of nothing had happened, but maybe if we're going to play again, i'm going to have a shooting instead, but i'll not play aggressively like yesterday, have my wrist a little exercise and at the same time a little rest from stress and impact.---12:03pm---

Epic

---9:34pm--- first of all i didn't know it was already 9:34pm, i thought it's only 8:something. *laughs* btw.


~we (the family) went to MOA (Mall of Asia) a while ago for a snack and a medicine, we didn't stay much longer for we had enough already, we're so tired for just a short period of time.


~tomorrow would be our (my girlfriend) 8th month of being together, and i don't know how could i make her feel more special for the day and the next days, though i knew she's at the province and i can't talk to her even for just a minute, maybe i'd just leave a long message for her to spend time with, along with the epic video that my friend gave me just before i decided to update here, the title of the video is "Strangers, again" it's on youtube... it's a drama, it made me quite emotional, and it made me love and miss my girlfriend even more although i thought my love and the way that i miss her is the most "love" and "miss" that I've felt ever before, if you know what i mean. I could really say that i could relate all-through the situations on the video.


~i wonder what i could do for her tomorrow, so i guess i'd compose my long message for her this time, that means i have to go now.. *smiles* bye ---9:46pm---

Sinakulo

---7:35pm--- just got home from Zambales, it's really a journey going there because Zambales is like 4-5 hours away from home on land transportation, we had like a clan party, yea not literally, but our clan was complete there for a fun beach-side overnight inside a hut, i didn't swim but i went to the shore to check what's up with the south China water *laughs*


~the beach wasn't that white, it's actually not white at all, grey? yea it is.. too bad that day you know what, i had lost my bowel movement, until now, for that i can't eat much for a party, i had just a shot of liquor then i slept already.


~it's my really first time to watch a "sinakulo", if you would ask what sinakulo means, it is a passion play, a traditional play for us Christian Filipinos which the actors/actresses will make a simulation or dramatization of the passion of Christ, yea if you'd ask it's until the crucifixion. We went there by riding the rented fortuner of my uncle's friend there in Zambales.


~i kinda have to go 'cause actually i just got home, yea as i've said a while ago, so i need to take a rest and eat my dinner now .. *smiles* goodbye---7:58pm---

missed it so much.

---8:11pm---yesterday i was chatting with my girl best friend, she told me to wait up 'cause she's playing GTA, i don't know where she was playing but i think she's playing PS2, that moment i thought that i miss my xbox, while that i'm imagining that i'm playing the xbox right now and i told my best friend to wait because i'm gonna set up my thing *laughs* i didn't play so much last night because it was a little late already so maybe i spent just 1 and a half hour playin' it, forgot almost the controls, i tend to have a guess and I intentionally had myself feeling my past times playing that specific game so that i'll feel the controls along while i'm playing. The experience last night was perhaps an improved experience of playing xbox because i had a bigger screen, i set up the 32" lcd monitor that we're using with the desktop, (but that wasn't intended for desktop fyi.) it's Sharp Aquos HD tv, well the image was not too clear because i only have the 1st out xbox, not the HD ones, like 360s and PS3s.


~this morning, i woke up of course, no i mean. i woke up early 'cause i wasn't suppose to go to my uncle's burial because they told me it wont be long anyway, but still my mom got me up from bed, we went to the garden 1 hour past the said time,  so we had searched for them all over the garden and knowing after all that the burial is done, so because of that we went to their house and eat lunch there. It didn't take us long enough because it's so hot there, really hot like you're melting. we got home and still it's hot, realizing that this country as a whole is a super hot place to live.


~boredom leads me to playing xbox again, yea but i didn't enjoy because instead of me being happy for playing, i was pissed because i'm not comfortable with my room because it's a microwave, i went down to give myself warm air, atleast warm, not hot. and yea i took a bath again for i can't help but to look for cold water.


~quite excited for my grades, i expect for my professor to give our sheets now for us to know what's up, i really hope i didn't get any mistakes yet, but if there is it wont be much for me, i would have to set another goal instead of being pathetic.


~i'm not sure yet for my update for this week because we're going to zambales on thursday, and i'm gonna get my student license on wednesday, this week would be a busy week for me, i don't know if there's an internet connection at zambales, but i'll bring my laptop anyway, just to make sure. *smiles* ---8:31pm---

where the hell is the wet summer.

---6:35pm---it's been too hot lately, and i was so pissed off. i took a ride on a jeepney going home instead of purchasing another LRT2 Stored Value Card, my mom said that i might want to purchase a single trip instead, and tomorrow she will give me a hundred for me to have another card, so i decided not to ride the lrt, there's the jeep instead, but i realize afterall it's very hot that you can't imagine, i'm wearing a jeans that time and the sun shines for my jeans, and so it toasted my legs, so much pressure i felt within my pants and i regret my decision so much, told myself that i will never ever ride a jeepney with the sun so striking.


~ it's going to be our first quiz tomorrow and i'm longing for a perfect score, seriously i want to have a grade of 1 in that subject, 1 as in 100%, i want to achieve a perfect score for all activities and exercises that my professor would give for the whole summer class timespan. Failing the subject is not being stupid, it's just a matter of not understanding a topic that would affect your understanding with the next lessons, it would be much like a domino effect that if one topic is not clear to you, you will not understand anything next to it at all. i want to prove to my classmates who might think that summer class candidates are dumb enough to fail. i'll make them eat my grade report card with 1 printed on it. *laughs*


~ so early for me to take a dinner but my stomach tells me that he wants to eat already, and my lips are now dried up because of the heat, now i guess you can imagine..i can't promise you for my return later but i'll promise i'll try. i'll be online though, but not sure if i'm going to update here. bye.---6:51pm---

Almost forgot...

---10:35pm--- i wasn't much contented with what I've done with the internet this night, i thought of something that i haven't done yet, i knew there's something.. and here i am. you know why... *laughs*


~anyways. got good start on my summer class, i'm expecting to have a perfect grade for now, and wishing that i could maintain it 'til the end of the summer classes. My mind while answering the problem set a while ago was so alive and it really works when you only focus on one subject, can't do much with an overloaded brain uh?


~i fell asleep a little late last night, or should i say a while ago, midnight...i fell asleep 4 am already, i don't know why but my mind doesn't feel relaxed at all, am i scared? or what?....though i woke up late this morning, i knew it was bad for me to sleep that late, but good thing i have no worries at all because I've finished my assignment before i have my leisure, what i'm thinking now is that could i sleep early this time? and i'm also thinking that i have no socks for tomorrow, i have to tell my mom to wash my clothes.


~I still don't have any followers, well it's a start... i guess no one have viewed my site, until now. I don't expect  someone anyway, in the first place I've never told anyone about this, not even my mom. Only me, you whoever is reading this right now, and God, knows this site *laughs* keep the secret mysterious reader *smiles*---10:50pm---

quite done with the day.

---8:40pm--- before that i would like to share that i visited my uncle's wake, still a bit doubtful of his corpse because he looks too old, he even look like a hero, a Philippine hero. i'm not teary when i saw him lying but i'm a bit emotional when my aunt told us the story of his last hours, i didn't cry but i felt the feeling of being in front of my dying uncle, he was visited by the vice mayor of the city, and after all we came home straight, and i guess that's not the ideal thing to do when you just came from a wake.


~there's a superstition that when you just came from a wake, you need to stop over to any place before you go home for the soul will follow you home, at least one stop over. They say that you should never go straight at home when you just came from a wake.---8:52pm---


---8:52---i'm quite done with the day for i did my assignment while i'm still at school, so that i would have to transfer it to a bond paper instead of doing my assignment at home, which would be the time for me to rest...


~ i gave a lot of coins for the beggars near the lrt station, the blind, and the one without arms and legs, too bad for them, but it's not over yet for they have to live with it, i believe there's a potential work for everybody.


~ well let's say that there's a potential work for everybody, but there would be no work waiting for you, here in the Philippines, you have to find your work, 'cause the opportunity here lies on your competitiveness, so how i guess would those disabled people have a work? it's not really a work, but the worth. There's a certain meaning for everyone for being alive, maybe they aren't intended to work like the able competitive people but they have the ability and potential to inspire and persuade others that there could be much in life than earning money, and that's the other side of our agony, it's love and appreciation, not money at all.


---8:59pm--- there's a flying cockroach, and i have to eradicate that one... and i'll take my dinner after. *laughs* what a sched, kill the cockroach and eat! *laughs* so long! *smiles* ---9:00pm---

it's yesterday...

---12:27am--- it was yesterday, when my uncle died of tuberculosis, i was expecting that wont be too much to accept but here i am listening to my own sufferings, i mean how much would i really have to emote just to replenish what i am feeling, the feeling of hard acceptance of the fact that my uncle is dead, the hard fact that i haven't been any important to his life, or did i ever contribute to his smiles while he's up alive...


~i can't imagine it, it's been really the day when i haven't seen enough of the reality, just yesterday, it's yesterday when i wasn't able to count down and being not ready to face the day, thought i could just leave a mark for my heart and reserve it while i'm out with a smile, just yesterday when i have to change my mood to save a drop of tear. to save it tonight...


~i love you uncle, i wish you knew it at least before your last breath.---12:40am---

Late? nah...

---8:32pm--do you think i forgot to visit my site again? nah.. i've been out and busy for the day...


~got sounds up for the car, i replaced our rear speakers in the car because it's busted by Ondoy + heat (Ondoy is a disaster in the Philippines that submerged the main cities) the speakers were cooked in a way, i'm so tired after that not because of the work but because of the heat outside, the sky was clear. Good thing i didn't collapse because of the heat, to think that i didn't take my breakfast yet that moment.


~we went to a mall. TriNoMa, so many people out there i mean, we didn't expect the crowd it was like wow man i thought that was almost Market!Market! when crowd is to be talked about..




~I don't know why but i feel excited about my summer class tomorrow, even if that was not meant to be there.. i mean summer is vacation but for now it's not, i don't feel bad, don't wanna feel stressed about it, that's why. i'm quite awake because of it, thinking that my favorite professor would be in charge of us, the only thing that i didn't like this summer class is the Saturday class, must have given us the rest for the weekend though we expect to be dismissed a little earlier for we knew it because of the prof.




~kinda excited though i don't have license to drive yet, for i knew my birthday present would be a car *smiles so big* i'mma work on it hard for i know it's a big cost for everyone, i'm gonna make it look better, the best i could like what i did to my past ride..a motorcycle.


~i have to wait now for someone for a call, i guess i have to go... i can't promise that i will go back tomorrow, but i wont be forgetting this one, it wont be long i'm sure. Gotta busy month for summer class. thanks *out* ---8:58pm---

just woke up...

---8:51am--Thank you God for waking me up this day *smiles*


~is it late already for me to wake up? it's summertime i got nothing to do, no work (i'm a student), no classes (no regular classes but i have one subject to take up this summer) though.. i hope this day would not be like yesterday which was really a boring day.


~got myself infront of the computer for my breakfast huh *laughs*, gotta check up what's up with my friends online, 'cause someone got me a message last night, bugged me right on my iPhone while i'm talking to someone.


~going somewhere? this Saturday is my last free Saturday, next week i'll be having a summer class every day 'til  Saturday for a month. i think i'm going to the mall to fetch someone and bring her home for she told me a story....


~got stories here that there are group of people who would get you unexpectedly, take you in to a van and out of your consciousness, afterwhile they'd take your kidney and other body parts that they could sell and you will wake up knowing nothing that had happened at all.


~Well i don't believe in that case, i mean it's not supernatural, it's possibly happening but i doubt that this case would be so chronic (if you know what i mean) and even if this case was so alarming for the people just roaming around (you know), i think that you just really have to be aware of everything around you, meaning to say... you just have to be alert and mindful of people around, their behavior etc. (it's hard to explain actually,). but maybe this would be the right term for everyone  "if you're not familiar with the place you're at, you don't really need to be just brave, you just need to be smart at all times"...


~i'll come back when i'm not busy anymore, and gotta take my breakfast already. ---9:21--- *eating*

done

---5:22pm--- now i'm done eating, i ate congee outside (lugaw) at "Aling Cora's Goto"

~the congee is so hot, it scalded my tongue a li'l bit... though it's delicious.

~while out walking someone approached me begging for any donations, too bad i don't have extra money to give, he said "kuya, sige na, nasunugan kami .." A little boy with a plastic,... i was wondering "where are your companies? are you alone?" well if we were to think, he's not alone because he said "nasunugan kami" hopefully he still have his family...

game! ---6:07pm--- sorry got someone on the phone...

~she said she feels alone, so i got her companied... aw i remember the boy a while ago, he's alone and he has no one to approach, really sad...

i don't know why i really have to think of somebody else, i'm so compassionate enough to think of what they will be, and what will happen to them... time after time everyone in this world would realize what being alive entails. ---6:15pm---

got nothing to do

---3:56pm--here we go again i'm here again to type anything , well you know i'm bored....obviously


you know what, when i feel that the surrounding is so silent and the sky is grey (if you know what i mean) i always think of getting out of the house, but yet i'm alone *laughs* as a matter of fact i wanted myself outside than be inside the house while i have nothing to do.


~or maybe.... my room was just so dark that it seems to give me the sad aura.


i was supposed to be at my friend's house this moment but he said he's going out with his momma, so we (the team) can't come anymore...


~i wanna eat..! got pizzas there? give me some! (get some!) *laughs* that's my ever favorite food other than Sinigang (sinigang is a filipino dish, it's so delicious i'm tellin' you!), that if ever pizza would be my food for the rest of my life, i would be happier *laughs again*. i'm allergic to seafoods, except for fish yea, even if i come to only smell it, i can't last. well they look creepy aren't they?


~guess i gotta find something to eat or something to cook, quite hungry now...kind'a hate talking about food because i feel hungry everytime that food is the topic.---4:08pm---

it's been a while.

--2:44pm--it's been a while Thunderbird Resort , our team has been there last april 4-5, we had so much fun, *smiles*

i created a music video, a commercial-like video for thunderbird which almost explains how much we had fun there, the video is really great (well for me)... the ending really touches my heart and it makes me say that i really miss them all. We all didn't expect that the overnight would be so heavy for us after all. One of us did make a short video just to let us know how much he wants to come back to the resort with us Team, and so i made a music video for us and it made us miss each other even if "it's been a while"

let me try posting it :)

DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT OWN ANY SONG :D but we own all the pictures of course :)

while i'm making this video yesterday, i seem to be so attached to making it ..so i finished it the same day, (well it's not too hard though) but i had the excitement myself to pursue the video making, i even find someone to converse with me about the video, i sent it to anyone around the chat area so that someone will know how i really feel that time. i found someone, it's my friend Christine SD and she told me that she's envy *laughs*, then i shared to her my feelings about that video, that i really miss my friends so much every time i watch that video. I was replaying it for not less than 25x last night and i still have my laughter with me all the while.


hope you enjoy the video :) --3:13 PM--

1st yet.

gotta keep up- it's kind of late this moment, it's already 12:33am and i got to prepare myself for tomorrow for the enrollment, but i can't sleep yet.


I seem to lately realize that i can't really sleep when i have something in my mind (...yea i know our mind can't be empty) *laughs* i always want to share something with someone, yea i have "someone" though, i just don't know if it'll last a good conversation after all, we seem to be neutral about ourselves being apart. well let's not talk about her, things can change right.


i aint gonna make this too long 'cause i guess i have to go, there are certain topics which will take me too long to share so i thought i have not to think of one tonight for i need to go to sleep already. goodnight. *sleep* 12:40am--

you've discovered a new blog my friend :)

Lucky enough to discover this one uh? :) i've never broadcasted this site to anyone and maybe you're the first one to enter this blog site, by the way my name is j-viz gotta keep up a pen name for a better start i guess. I've planned to stick up to a permanent blog site so i could have another pastime, maybe my mind said that i really love to converse..a lot, so this may serve as my other mouth, well of course expecting that a mysterious person like you is reading this.

so i better start up with my self introduction :)

btw i got this from my facebook profile...

This is the “real” about me… I’m not really like you, well in some ways maybe, but in a very slim chance.

I spend almost 40% of my day in front of the computer; it’s imposible that I would not play atleast 10 songs in a day. I do my task with music, I even listen to music while I’m taking my daily shower..i hate people who thinks they know everything, and to the point that they’ll see you down on the ground and they see themselves so high, I really hate people who steal my ideas, I hate people who edits my piece of something and pretends to have it owned entirely, I hate people who knows many things, well not merely those people, but those kind of people who really know many things (literally) and they tend to broadcast it like “I know many things man, I’m so great, like hell man!” yea.. hate them so much. I like people who can serve as your “safe”, the one who can keep your secrets, the one who can keep everything tight. When I’m talking to someone, I don’t want someone to interrupt. Many people say that I’m unapproachable, but see themselves in the same instance, they’re not even talking to me, and I don’t care about that, if you want to know me.. talk to me.. if you don’t, then don’t. How can you blame me if in the first place, you’re not approaching me.. how come I’m the “unapproachable” one.? I love to express my feelings, that’s my forte. Like for now in symbols I can express, I know that you can feel what I’m saying this time, I know that you can relate, because you’re a human being of course, and I know you won’t stay reading up to this point in my “about me” if you can’t relate to it or not unless you like me, you can’t really know me entirely just reading this “about me”. I like saying “thank you” to people who deserve it. I like to embarrass people when they tend to embarrass me, so don’t try. I hate people who obviously think I’m stupid. Well you know I don’t hate everybody, no I don’t hate the world. Actually I’m a sweet brother to everybody. I love technical things, but I hate it when it comes to the point that I can’t really understand a thing about a technical topic, and in a situation that no one wants to help you. When I think about many things, emotional things in particular, I get out of the house and go everywhere I want. I’m emotional in a way, I’m proud to say that I cry, everyone cries, I bet that everyone had cried already. Some hardly cry because they’re stopping themselves from crying, it’s not healthy, isn’t it hard to stop yourself from crying, it’s like you’re having a hard time to breathe as well, but I’m not saying it’s only hard because of physical difficulties, but it’s hard because of emotional difficulties also, when you don’t cry, you’re not a human, but you don’t really need to cry at all times. I hate conceited people, I bet I can find 20 other people better looking than you. I love to sing, I love to play instruments, I play drums, guitar, bass, keyboard, etc. but I really like playing drums, I rarely play those other instruments mentioned at all. I like manipulating things. i like to disassemble things and I like to break things and put the pieces back together. Sometimes I tend to put someone first before me, I like to help them before I help myself, my father even said that I’m too kind, so I’m here to say I’m not that kind. I don’t like to “LIKE” so many “likables” available on the net, to think that you only got the idea because it’s readily available there and you would just have to click the “like” button, but look, the idea wasn’t really from you, the statements there are not what you really like, yes maybe but very slim chance. I want my life to be easy and simple, I want to be an engineer and a director, yea I’m into showbiz in a way, I like performing on stage with music but not with acting or something else, I can’t dance, and I want to learn somehow, but I really can’t dance, and it feels so bad, well I know and I accept that I can’t have everything. I want to see people happy, because seeing other people happy is what makes me happy. And I want all of the people in this world to think only of love.if nothing else, I’m j-viz.